I have a lot going on right now. But, do I really have a lot going on? The thing is, I don’t really have anything going on at all… and that’s why I have so much going on right now.
Confusing way to start, I’m sorry. But here I am, 12am on a Thursday morning, realizing that I don’t have much of a direction. My brain is scattered and my life seems to be at a stop. I have no money, and no plans. I just finished my university program…in fact I walk across the stage to accept my two degrees in just 20 days. I’m trying to figure out what it means to not be a student anymore. I’ve been a student my entire life. Four year of high school (wait, no, five) and four years of university (LOL nope, five there too). I spent five years working towards getting these two pieces of paper that say I’m able to teach kids. But now here I am, unsure that I’m actually good enough to do that (I could talk about this for hours but the long story short? I’m very “adequate”). The practical solution to this? Get a part time job in the meantime, and figure out my life. Easier said than done when you have panic attacks even thinking about being in a workplace setting.
I don’t know what I’m trying to do with this blog post. There’s no direction to it (much like my life). But I guess in order to get things moving, I needed a brain dump. Maybe I’ll get back into daily prompts. Maybe I’ll just write when I need to dump, and forget about having any sense of cohesiveness (??) to this blog. But whatever I end up doing, at least I have a place to do it.